So, as it turns out, AS2 is hardly a programming language.
Java intertwined with the android SDK? That's a language. And it's hard to learn, especially when you're a visual learner and there are almost no video tutorials available on the internet and you have no actual programming experience.
Sure, i could develop for the iphone instead, but i don't own a mac. [speaking of which] Why does apple care if you develop for their platform on a mac or a pc? It makes ZERO sense.
Here's to hoping i learn how to develop for the android and make something interesting that maybe i could post here.